There’sanother reasonthat I will (hopefully) be much more active on here soon. I didn’t get into a graduate program anywhere. I was waitlisted at two schools (NYU and Temple), so there’s still a chance that I may get into a program, however, those chances are slim. At first, I was absolutely devastated. What was I supposed to do? I had a plan and now that plan was - at the very least - put on hold. It had been changed.
Then I really started thinking. One of the things I realized was that I had been putting too much emphasis on what MY plan was. I’m a religious person, so in the grand scheme of things, whatIwant and plan isn’t what’s most important. What’s important is God’s will and His plan for me. Apparently, what I thought was the path for me isn’t quite right. So I’m taking this as an opportunity to really delve into myself. This means taking care of myself in a new way and exploring my passions outside of the classroom.
I’ve always been a very academic person, so going to school and pursuing something academic seemed the natural course. In high school, I fell in love with theatre, and it’s something I’ve been passionate about ever since. Unfortunately, a career in theatre wasn’t something that my parents or I could justify. Now don’t get me wrong, I really do like Speech Pathology. In it I found a way to marry together many of the things I love. However, now it’s time for me to take a different path, or at least a detour.
So I plan on spending the next year dedicating myself to the things I love and the things I want to learn more about. I’ll work at camp again this summer, and when I return I’ll still have my retail job. Besides this, I plan on trying to put myself out there a bit more when it comes to my cakes and cupcakes. My sisters have told me that people have asked them about where they got their kid’s birthday cakes and that they’ve had friends express interest in maybe having me make a cake fortheirchild’s birthday or another special occasion. This is something I can capitalize on and possibly make some money from.
My mom asked if I would make a nice cake for her & my dad’s 42nd wedding anniversary in May. She said that she’ll think about it and come up with a design that she wants so that I can make a really nice cake.
During my next year, I want to take the 3rd Wilton class that I wasn’t able to take last year, and also the tiered cakes class. I want to work on my technique and start developing my skills further so I can do more inventive and out of the box things.
I also want to spend more time on stage. I want to eat, sleep, and breathe theatre. I want to read more plays, see more plays, and go on more auditions. When I clean, I’ll be able to set up my keyboard in my room. I’ll be able to spend more time playing the piano and will be able to develop my audition songs and monologues more by putting a book together. With the money I’m earning from my retail job, I can get new headshots done. Maybe I can take a dance class. I’ll be able to pursue things I really want to pursue without having to think about classes and writing papers and grad school.
When the time comes, I know that I’ll reapply to grad school, but I’ll have plenty of time in between to lead a life full of things that I love. That will make everything I do easier and more enjoyable.
I’ll have more time to do Zumba and ride my bike, and maybe try the whole running thing again. I know it’s something I have to work my way up to, but it’s such a pain that running is so difficult for me!
Anyway, I have lots of things that I want to be able to do, and now I’ll have the time to do it. And who knows? In a year’s time I may find that I have a better opportunity somewhere other than grad school. Or I may find that grad school is the place for me. I won’t know until I’ve given other things a shot.
At first I saw this as a major setback and a heartbreak, but now I see it as an opportunity to reinvent myself and experiment with my life.
I’m used to having a plan, but I’ve gotten used to the idea of having more of an outline than a real plan :)