// Migraine Awareness Month #26: “From the Outside Looking In”//

Write about what you think your family, friends and others think a day in life, a day with Migraine disease, is like.

I’m fortunate (and simultaneously unfortunate) to have a family where migraines are quite common. As I’ve discussed in earlier posts, every single member of my immediate family have had a migraine at least once in their life. I’m the youngest of six, so there’s always been empathy for migraines in my life.

When it comes to friends, it gets a bit trickier. Some of them understand completely, and - even if they’ve never suffered a migraine themselves - can understand why I can’t hang out or have to become a recluse for a few hours/days. On the other hand, there have been people who just don’t care and think I’m being flaky. In most cases, these people haven’t stuck around in my life for long.

For some people, I think that they think “migraine” is some kind of code for “I’m just tired and want to sleep all day” when nothing could be further from the truth.

In most cases though, I believe that my family and friends understand that a migraine day for me involves lots of water, ice packs, some graham crackers, and eventually, a hot shower.

“National Migraine Awareness Month is initiated by the National Headache Foundation. The Blogger’s Challenge is initiated by www.FightingHeadacheDisorders.com.”

// Migraine Awareness Month #17: “Father Knows Best.”//

Some understand Migraines, some don’t. Write a letter to your father or the man closest to, and talk about your Migraines.

Hey Papa,

So, I know that it took awhile for you to really get the whole migraine situation. You’ve got 6 kids, and all of us have had a migraine at one point or another.

• Tasha: Has only had a few in her life. Not very often.
• Johannah: Gets them chronically.
• Benji: Got them when he was little and on chemo. He’s outgrown them now.
• Sarah: Is like Tasha and has only had a few in her life.
• Amanda: Gets them chronically.
• Rachel (That’s me!): Gets them chronically.

Besides that, you’re married to mom who pretty much has a headache constantly. 3/4 of the time, it’s a migraine. It’s an achievement when she DOESN’T have a migraine.

I know that at first, you didn’t really understand. You always took care of me when I was sick, and I appreciate that. We didn’t have the kind of family set up where the dad goes out and makes the money and mom stays home and raises the kids. I feel fortunate that both of my parents were home until I was in middle school. When mom started working in the school system as an aide, you took over at home. I always saw it as lucky that my dad was a priest. You worked on Sundays, and besides that, you just had Holy Days to worry about.

You taught me how to play sports. We planted flowers and vegetables in the garden together. You taught me how to drive. You picked me up from school when I was sick, and you took care of me. Made me soup, brought me a new ice pack. I’ve tried to teach you how to use the computer, and… well… you’re making progress. There are so many things that you’ve taught me and that you’ve shown me.

The greatest thing you’ve taught me is compassion.

I know you’ve had a few migraines in your life, and after that first one, you were able to see just why I was so miserable whenever I had a migraine. I know that you were always sympathetic toward our pain, but after having a migraine, you were able to be empathetic.

More than that, you show compassion. You just want to make sure that we’re okay. You’ve rubbed my shoulders when I’ve had a really bad migraine. Brought me an ice pack without me even asking (or have sent Gillian or Zachary upstairs with an ice pack and told them “Be very quiet! Your Aunt Rachel has a really bad boo-boo in her head.”) You drive mom to the doctor’s if she can’t do it because of her medication. It’s not just the things you do for me, but the things you do for everyone here.

I appreciate the nights that you took a bath in cold water because you didn’t want to wake me up since the pipes run through my room and you didn’t want to wake me since I had finally been able to fall asleep (even though I’d be okay if you woke me for a few minutes to run some warm water!).

I appreciate the nights that we’ve sat at the kitchen table and watched college basketball together while I had an ice pack on my back for my kidney stones or on my head for a migraine.

Even though this is off the migraine topic - I appreciate you letting me sleep on your side of the bed and you moving into my room for that weekend that I had the worst kidney stone pain of my life. You (and mom) brought me ice packs, water, and some graham crackers (since they were all I could stomach). I know that one Ultracet knocks you out, but it did nothing to dull the pain of a blocked kidney for me. I also appreciate the fact that you yelled at my doctor after the surgery for all of the pain that he let me be in over the weekend. (And that you waited until AFTER the surgery was over.)

When I have a migraine, you always make sure to check on me every few hours, whether it be by calling my cell phone or coming in my room - Ginger ale and a new ice pack in hand.

I thank you for giving me the confidence to use silly voices, and for giving me an affinity for puppets to inherit. I thank you for praying for me every day, and for keeping me on the prayer list for the St. Nectarios service every time.

I know that there are some dads that just don’t understand the kind of pain that a migraine brings, and I’m blessed to have one who knows what I’m going through.

Thank you for being an amazing father, and for keeping a watchful eye over all of your children. We might all be grown-ups now, but we still need our dad to take care of us, and you never let me down.

Love,

Rae

(I wasn’t expecting this to be so long… I’m just really close to both of my parents hah)

National Migraine Awareness Month is initiated by the National Headache Foundation. The Blogger’s Challenge is initiated by www.FightingHeadacheDisorders.com.

// Migraine Awareness Month #2: Tea for Two//

If you could invite someone (any living person) to your home for tea for the purpose of explaining Migraine disease to them so they would truly understand it, who would it be and why?

Just like Emily said over at ThatMWord, there are a few people/groups of people I can think of.

1) ALL directors of Offices of Disability at colleges/universities: If I hadn’t learned to self-advocate so early in life, I would have gotten royally screwed over in college because the director of the Office of Disability at my college told me that migraines didn’t warrant any accommodations because it was “just a headache”.

2) Anyone who has ever said “It’s just a headache”: Really? I’d like to explain some things to you.

3) One of my managers at Kohl’s: There have been a few times where I’ve had to call out of work because of a migraine. Most of my managers are really understanding and sometimes don’t even put me in the book as a call out. However, one of my managers has given me a hard time on the two instances that I’ve called out while she was working. She’s said things like “Can’t you just take an aspirin?” and “Are you really sure you can’t come in?” It’s absolutely infuriating. She falls into the second category as well.

Besides these people/groups, I have been incredibly fortunate to have people in my life who understand the kind of pain and other symptoms that a migraine brings. Looking around at some of the blogs out here, I’ve realized just how lucky I’ve been to have had professors and friends and family who are understanding of my condition and the kind of things that happen when I have a migraine.

My ex-boyfriend (whom I’m still very close friends with) had a migraine once in his life. One day at camp I had to stay in bed for awhile longer (missing a bit of the morning programming) because of a migraine. When I woke up and opened my counselor room door, I found that he had placed a note, along with a bottle of water and some strawberries from breakfast outside of my door so that I would have something to eat and drink when I woke up. That kind of thoughtfulness means more than I can say when I see that most people get told that they should just get over it.

Yes, that happens to me sometimes, but I feel blessed to know that that’s the exception for me, not the rule.

National Migraine Awareness Month is initiated by the National Headache Foundation. The Blogger’s Challenge is initiated by www.FightingHeadacheDisorders.com