I went to bed last night with the assistance of some medication for my headache… And an ice pack.

I woke up around 6:30AM, and switched out my icepack. But I didn’t take any more medication because I knew that I had work at 10AM.

So here I am, sipping on a cup of coffee, still feeling awful, but ready to go to work (It take me about 5 minutes to get there…)

I only have two days of work left, so I figured that I should go in for them. If by the end of the day at work I’m still feeling awful, I’ll tell them I’m not coming in tomorrow.

For now, ibuprofen and coffee and hydration will (hopefully) have to suffice.

There’s a storm a few days away, so I’m wondering if that has anything to do with this pain. If not, I’ve got some phantom migraine brewing in my skull.

// I am incredibly frustrated.//

So I got home yesterday afternoon after being in Eastern PA for a few days to help out with my sister’s kids while she was at a conference. Her husband is an electrician, so his hours can get kind of weird. She wanted me to come out there as back up, just in case he wasn’t able to pick up the kids and to have an extra set of hands around.

Yesterday I started to feel a little blech, and was getting a pretty bad headache last night, due to the random storms we had (and will be getting more of). Of more concern though, was my stuffiness and my sinuses.

I woke up at about 5AM completely congested and was able to feel that my glands on the right side are swollen. I’m also blowing colors (which is always a GREAT sign). And I was nice and clammy.

The worst part is, that isn’t even why I’m so frustrated.

I would have called my job right then and there to say “Hey, I’m sick, I’m making a doctor’s appointment, I can’t come in.” However, we’re not open at that time. There’s also no place to leave a message. I have no way of contacting any managers until the store is open.

So I set my alarm for 8AM so that I could call right away. Except that due to sickness, I slept through my alarm. I woke up closer to when I was supposed to come in than I would have liked, and immediately called in.

When I was put through to a manager, it was the one who has never really been understanding of anything. (You know, the one who - when I’ve called because of a migraine - has said “Are you really sure you can’t come in?”) So I instantly launched into an explanation of “Last night I started to get sick, I tried to wake up earlier to call, but I have a doctor’s appointment later, and I don’t want to get anyone else sick, and I couldn’t leave a message at the store about being sick and…”

And the rest of the conversation went much like this:

Her: This is getting insane.

Me: Excuse me?

Her: This is insane. You can’t keep calling out when we can’t get coverage for you.

Me: I’m sorry, but I wasn’t able to leave a message. There’s not much else I can do when I work in the mornings.

Her: When’s the next time you’re in.

Me: I’m scheduled to be in tomorrow. I can bring my doctor’s note with me.

Her: Yeah. Do that.

And she hung up the phone.

I’m sorry, but “can’t keep calling out when we can’t get coverage for you”?

1) Do you want me to come in anyway? That way, I’ll get more people sick, you’ll get more callouts, and then you can whine about all of them. Half the time, other people come in sick and exactly that happens. Then those of us who are responsible, and don’t come in to spread around sickness get berated for it.

2) You can’t get coverage for me? Oh, that’s right, because most of the people working in my department have left because of the conditions of the store. I’m sorry, but it’s not my fault that you can’t get coverage for me. It’s also not my fault that you haven’t respected my availability for the past month and I’ve had to come into the office and repeatedly change my schedule after it’s been posted.

2b) In relation to that, you cannot say, “You can’t work that shift? I don’t know if I have anyone to work during the day on that Saturday now…” and look at me in an upset fashion. I’m not sorry. It’s not my fault that you scheduled me when it says that I’m NOT AVAILABLE. It is not my responsibility to check and make sure that I’m following the availabilities that my employees have provided.

3) I only call out when I have to. I have come into work with a headache. I have come into work with really bad allergies. I know those aren’t contagious. So I’ve worked through headaches and migraines and allergies before. There are people who just call out because they’re tired. Instead of saying anything to them, let’s instead just focus on the girl who is actually sick.

4) The fact that she wasn’t saying that I’ve called out too much, but I called out “when they can’t get coverage” is ridiculous. What would you like me to do? Check schedules and see when it’s convenient for you for me to get sick? Sorry I haven’t been doing that all along. It’s just that when I get there, I’m one of the few people actually working my ass off and making sure that things get done. So I spend a little less time seeing when everyone else is working.

So I’m just really frustrated. This manager has made me feel awful pretty much from the time I was hired. I have a doctor’s appointment at 2pm.

Tomorrow I’ll be handing in my doctor’s note and my two weeks’ notice. I was planning on working through the end of May, but I can’t deal with this BS anymore. Especially if I’m going to have someone making me feel like I’m doing this on purpose or and getting sick at inconvenient times.

Newsflash: Getting sick is rarely ever convenient for anyone involved.

So I’ll put in my notice that the last day I can work is May 2nd.

I know that I’ll be hanging around this area for Grad School, but I certainly won’t be working there anymore. If I don’t get a job at school, I’ll find some other form of work. Maybe with people in charge who care about the well being of their employees.

I know that there are other circumstances surrounding this situation that I can’t quite articulate to other people or in a blog post, but it’s more frustrating than I can say. I just know that they made my decision for when to leave a LOT easier. It also reminds me to thank God that I won’t be working in retail for much longer.

Part of me hopes I have strep. Maybe that she’ll actually have some understanding for.

// So Thursday was AWFUL. Friday was only a slight improvement.//

Around 8:30, I started to get a headache. I remember what time it was roughly, because I was working at the customer service desk and was part way through what ended up being a 40 minute process of helping this one woman return all of these items that were over two years old.

(Yeah, that’s right. We take back EVERYTHING. She had receipts with the numbers missing and items that were so old that they weren’t even in the mainframe in the back. I had to make some stuff up and other stuff I had to say “This print out of your transaction history doesn’t help me, and these were purchased more than 6 months ago so they’re not on your card, so you can either take the items back home and try to find the receipts OR you can take back very, VERY little money for them because they’re so old.” I was able to return a good amount of the items, but some of the stuff was from 2009. COME ON NOW. In addition to this, she had to be issued corporate refunds for a bunch of the stuff because she does this ALL THE TIME.)

So anyway, my head started to hurt. And I could tell that it wasn’t going to be great, but I popped some ibuprofen, hoping it would stave off the pain until I got home. I was staying hydrated and had eaten, so I was positive that neither of those two things were triggering a headache. At this point, I was also still holding out hope that it was just a minor headache.

Hilarious. I know.

So I got home around 10:45 (because for some reason, people don’t seem to be capable of keeping their sections clean, so we were there for an additional 45 minutes after closing cleaning up the store…)

When I got home, I had something small to eat because I wasn’t feeling great, but knew I needed to eat. Then I took a bath and took two Fiorinal because my headache was getting worse. By the time I got out of the tub, I was ready to throw up.

I can tell you that I spent the rest of the night throwing up, holding an ice pack to my head, moving very slowly, and doing my best to not cry because of the pain I was in.

This was the worst migraine I’ve had in quite awhile. It was one of those “come-out-of-nowhere-and-just-ruins-your-life” kind of migraines. I mean this to the point that I wrote down the phone number for my job that I was supposed to be at for 10AM on Friday and asked my dad if he would call out for me when he woke up for Holyday Liturgy on Friday. (Mom ended up calling out for me, but that’s not the point).

I woke up around 11 on that day and felt better, but not fantastic. I could barely eat all day, and although I didn’t want to rip my eyes out, I was still in pretty intense pain.

Because of schedules though, I had to take my sister to work, so I made sure to not re-medicate before driving and took her to the mall. When I got back I had a letter from my bank.

Sidebar: I should note that I’ve had issues with this bank before. It’s a regional bank, and I’ve already opened an account with PNC because I like their services better and I’ve only had positive experiences with them when I’ve done financial transactions for my Diocesan National Youth Group (I’m the advisor so I handle a bunch of the financial stuff). So my plan was to spend what was remaining in my account, and then close it out. End Sidebar.

So it was less of a letter and more of one of those “fold and tear the sides first!” postcards. Inside is a notice telling me that I’m overdrawn and now owe them $246.00

So obviously it takes all of my self control to not scream. This desire to scream and/or punch something is exacerbated by a few things

1. I had been to the ATM earlier in the week and there was no problem with my account.
2. A few years ago, I had to be issued a new card because there were fraudulent charges on my account. At that time, I opted out of a service that would let me overdraft, instead asking that my card be declined at POS if I had insufficient funds so that the problem wouldn’t happen again.
3. I was (once again) locked out of my Online Account. A week and a half prior, I called and had the password reset. When I tried to log in again a few days later, I was told I was once again locked out of my account.
4. I received the letter on the 15th. The card said that my date of notice was the 12th.
5. I still had a friggin’ migraine.

So needless to say I called the bank. I do have to say that the guy I spoke to was very helpful, and I did make sure to note to him that I knew it wasn’t his fault, but I was just very frustrated with the situation.

My frustration got EVEN WORSE. When I explained about having opted out of the overdraft situation and he looked through all of my information and said “Well, it’s checked here that you never opted out.”

In my kindly frustrated voice, I explained to him that I ABSOLUTELY opted out due to what had happened to me a few years back. This was an error on their end, and if it had been done correctly when I called to get my new card and opt out of the overdraft situation, then I wouldn’t be being charged ANY overdraft fees because my card would have been declined.

Like I said, the guy was super helpful. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t have to be firm and tell him that I found it absurd that they would charge me $175 in overdraft fees that wouldn’t have existed if someone had checked the right box. Maybe some people would have let it go at that point, but I was like “Listen, I work part time for minimum wage and am taking a year off to try to save money for graduate school. I do not just have cash to throw at someone elsesc’s screw up.”

So he went and spoke to his supervisor who was able to take two of the overdraft charges off. That was nice, but, being me, I still didn’t find it at all fair that I was going to be held culpable for money that wasn’t my fault. So he told me that he would transfer me to his supervisor.

I spoke to her and she was just as helpful. I pretty much said “Listen, I’m absolutely willing to pay for the actual money that I overdrafted. That is my responsibility because I was under the impression that the money was there in my account for me to use. And I’m even willing to pay one of the overdraft fees, as it was on an online payment on my Discover card. That’s not point of sale, so my card wouldn’t have been declined. Fine. And I appreciate you taking off two of the overdraft charges, but I find it absolutely ridiculous that your company still expects me to pay an additional $70 overdraft charge because someone there screwed up.”

I reiterated that both she and the guy I spoke to before had been incredibly helpful, and that I appreciated the fact that the original person I spoke to was able to handle my frustration. She basically told me that she only had the power to get rid of two of the charges, but that she would speak to the branch and ask that they take off the remaining two overdraft fees. She said that if I could get the money that I would actually be paying back (which ended up being $110 between the actual charges and the one overdraft fee that I was willing to pay) into my account by Saturday, she’d have more leverage. I told her I would go and transfer money tonight.

So that was done. And she said that she would call me back today to let me know, but she never did. And I don’t know what that means. Hopefully it means it was all taken care of and I don’t have to worry about it and can close my account out in peace. (Well, that is after Wednesday, as I was told that the charges wouldn’t come off until Wednesday)

Needless to say, that didn’t make my migraine ANY better. My dad asked me if I wanted to go to the diner to eat, but I was miserable and so I passed on the diner. I don’t pass on the diner. But between my head and my frustration and just UGH, I knew that I would be horrible company.

The weekend was better though. My oldest sister, her husband, and their three kids came to visit for the weekend, so I was able to hang out with my nieces and nephew. My oldest niece, Hannah, was sick-ish, so we hung out and watched movies. Actually, we all watched The Mighty Ducks together, but my nephew was excited that there were more, so he & I ended up watching ALL THREE MIGHTY DUCKS MOVIES IN ONE DAY.

(I mean, he’s 6, so he’s not an adult, but I’m 24, so I’m awesome AND an adult.)

I called out of work today… er, Sunday, because I was feeling better, but still not great. I have work tomorrow evening, so hopefully I’ll be feeling much better by then.

I just know that I have a list of things to do and am not excited about getting them done. Sheerly because I would rather be able to just relax and try to sort out some of my migraine problems. Instead I’m worrying about other stuff.

On the bright side, this Saturday (after work) I’ll be going with two girls from my church to purchase items to replenish a Sunday School in Union Beach, NJ that was hit hard by Superstorm Sandy. The Diocesan Youth Group I was talking about before (The National Jr. ACRY) had a “fund drive” of sorts to raise money for Hurricane Sandy Relief. I was having an issue finding a place to donate to, just because so many of them were already getting funding or just wanted the money, whereas we wanted to do something more hands on. My sister (Jo) remembered that my niece had a classmate in Preschool last year who was from Union Beach. When they were in school together, my sister found out that the mother worked for the same school district, and they’ve been casual friends since then. When I said something about needing a place to donate, Jo got in touch with the friend who told her that she worked at a Sunday School, but everything was swept away by the storm, so if we wanted to help them get supplies, it would be appreciated. So I’ll be going with Jess & Cassandra to purchase items from their supply list (probably most of them). We’re hoping to be able to actually drive down there and bring them the supplies. I told the contact that we’d be willing to help clean up and reorganize and set the room up for them, all she had to do was let me know. Hopefully we’ll get the opportunity to do that, because I know that these kids have been itching to do something.

After that, I’ll be heading down to Rutgers, as a friend of mine (he was my 8th grade English teacher as well!) has a movie making it’s NJ premiere at the NJ Film Festival being held at Rutgers. I was an extra in two scenes and helped with decorations for one of the scenes. I’m really excited to see it!

In any case, I’m hoping that my head cooperates in the meantime. I don’t have as crazy as a week when it comes to work schedule, so hopefully the stress will be lower than it has been. I also got my camp application done, so that’s a weight off of me.

I think that the pain medication is finally starting to kick in, so hopefully I’ll be able to get some sleep tonight.

Medicated sleep isn’t nearly as restful as real sleep, but I’ll take what I can get at this point.

Also, if you read this whole thing, I kind of want to send you cookies.

Good night all! <3

// It’s getting to be about that time…//

which would explain the off and on pain I’ve had in my head for the past few days. And of course since I haven’t had to take my Fiorinal in awhile, I’m super woozy.

It started yesterday at work. I was supposed to work 10-5, but the girl who was supposed to be taking over customer service called and said she would be at least an hour late. I told our closing manager that I could stay for the hour with no problem.

At 6:20 he walked up and said he was going to call her and see where she was. There wasn’t an answer. Someone who was coming in at 6:30 said that she heard she wasn’t coming until 7. At about 6:40, the manager came up and said, “I feel really badly. Someone else will cover customer service. Go home, you’ve been here since 10AM and I feel really, really bad that you’re still here. I owe you and you’re awesome, but I know you’ve got to be exhausted and that you have a headache.”

So I came home.

I ate. I watched Dancing with the Stars (Team Apolo!) and then watched the Avengers. And then I slept like a small child. Until about 11:30. I’ve been working morning shifts, so I take all the sleep I can get. It also didn’t help that my head hurt, which just makes me want to roll over and go back to sleep.

I watched the two new episodes of New Girl that I missed last night because I forgot it premiered. (Whoops!) And am going to watch Supernatural and see if I can keep myself awake. Tomorrow I need to clean and will probably spend Friday doing the same until I go to work at 5.

But the point is, it’s getting to be around my period, which pretty much guarantees me a migraine.

It doesn’t help that I have added stress due to a financial situation that I didn’t know was going on. (aka the money I thought I had from my Grandfather saved up for Grad School had to be used for other things, so that bank account is apparently dry.) And the idea that I’m gonna need a second job. I just thank God that I’m not in school right now, because I know that would be a ridiculous combination of stressors that would probably cause a near-constant migraine.

So I need some motivation to start looking for a second job.

But before that, I need to get rid of this headache, and continue to keep it away from morphing into a migraine, or my day will become this:

Wishing you all a migraine- and pain-free (or at least low levels!) day!

// So I walked into work today…//

and my boss said “Well you look fantastic” in the most sarcastic voice he could muster. He asked me if I wanted to go home, but I said I could manage and would be fine.

I kept switching back and forth between having my hair up and down. I was getting warm so I’d pull it up, but then it would bother my head so I would let it back down.

I took ibuprofen before heading to work because I was in bed all day with a headache. I started to get one yesterday and it morphed into a migraine quite quickly. But then I had a hell of a time trying to sleep and so I slept for most of the day.

I still got my butt up to go to work at 3PM. Kohl’s is good to me. I knew I would be able to work through the bit of pain I still had around, so I sucked it up. I don’t want to call out of work unless I absolutely have to. And I didn’t absolutely have to today.

So now I’m in bed, watching Supernatural and getting ready to sleep. I think I may actually be able to sleep tonight which is awesome.

The past few weeks I’ve been havinga lotof trouble sleeping. Can’t get comfortable, can’t relax enough, can’t get my brain to shut off. Whatever. In any case, it doesn’t help that I worked over 33 hours last week. That’s reason enough to get my butt into gear with a sleep schedule. Especially because I’ve been working in the morning and this Saturday I have to be in at 9. Next week I have to be in at 8AM for unloading and freight.

So migraines, I’d really appreciate you backing off and letting me get back into the groove of work. That way, I can go to a nutritionist and see if I have any food sensitivities or dietary changes I can make in order to help you go away.

// So today was a less than amazing day.//

I woke up to my alarm and the headache I started to get on Monday night had gotten worse. I woke up many times during the night, sick to my stomach. Sometimes throwing up and sometimes just retching.

Attractive. I know.

In any case, I still had to get up and help watch my nephew because my dad had to serve a Liturgy this morning (Holyday of the Beheading of St. John the Baptist… followed by a Panachida for all of those lost on September 11, 2001). After that was over though, I grabbed an ice pack and crawled back into bed.

So here I am, at 12:32AM, getting ready to watch one more episode of Supernatural before I call it a night.

The shower I took earlier helped to ease my headache, and because it’s a strict fast day due to the Holyday, there was no meat or dairy in anything I ate today. One of our family strict fast day staples is soup, so I got to enjoy a cup of potato barley soup for dinner.

This is also good for if I get sick again later on. It’s awful that this is what I think about when I eat while I have a migraine. It’s a necessary evil though.

In any case, I’m headed off to bed now, and hope to be able to be productive tomorrow. I have lots that I need to get done, and I have off of work until Friday. After that, my schedule starts to get more and more busy.

Here’s to hoping that all of you had migraine free days and that if you weren’t pain free, you were at least on the low end of your pain spectrum!

// Today was… okay.//

I woke up with a pretty horrible headache today.

Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to move back into my room since I got home from camp. There were tools all over my room and bed, and I hadn’t finished my cleaning before I left for camp. As a result, most of my stuff is still in crates and bags down in the living room and I’ve been sleeping on the family room couch. I’m pretty sure that’s not helping the situation.

However, tonight I’m sleeping in my brother’s room since he’s down the shore. Tomorrow I plan on starting to go through my closet and my things so I can get rid of/donate lots of stuff. I need to get my room cleaned before I (hopefully) get this ESU job and will be traveling all the time.

So today I woke up with a headache that was making me nauseous. Thankfully, it didn’t turn into a full on migraine, but I had a pretty difficult time dealing with it. I moved from the couch to my parent’s room to sleep there for awhile. I eventually moved again because I knew my parents wanted to clean their room (my mom had to go to the dentist, so I had the opportunity to use their room for awhile)

I moved back down to the couch for a bit, but then ended up moving to my brother’s room since he’s gone. And I’ve been watching Supernatural and stretching and staying hydrated ever since.

My ITB has really been acting up lately and my lower back has as well. They’re really all interconnected, so I kind of have to tackle a few different problems at once.

I do have some spots of good news though!

1) My mom agreed to start doing yoga with me. It helped with my migraines, so I’m hoping it might have some effect on hers. Even if the yoga doesn’t help, maybe it’ll open her up to wanting to be more proactive about things.

2) While rummaging through things, I found a pair of sweatpants and two pair of yoga pants I thought I had lost (or one of my sisters had stolen). YAY!

3) If I get the ESU job, I’ll be able to use the ESU track and fitness center to exercise, as well as just walk around the area of my sister’s house like I did last year when I worked there. I can also make sure that there are fitness centers in any of the hotels I stay in so that I never miss my exercising (which helps my migraines immensely).

4) I had my lower back, glutes, and ITB covered in Bengay on my left side (aka my problem side)

5) I’m on Episode 18 of the first season of Supernatural and I’m loving it.

6) I have a bed to sleep in tonight!